WHAT I LEARNED IN 2022

5 MONTHS ago after July during august my struggle started I ended high school now it was time for me to apply for college/university. But I was’nt ready I didn’t had a major selected like which path I wanted to go to besides I did not wanted to make a ruthless decision that I would regret as I made in my college though I don’t regret it but it still was reckless because the time was short and I was’nt as much as mature as much as I am now though it still not enough but it’s way better then before also I just didn’t wanted to go to any university and live like other middle class asian girls like you know just go to any school, college, university your parents get you into and have enough money to pay for though they never want anything bad for you but sometimes financial conditions overcome middle class parents to select the best for there child instead they prefer something just which is not bad atleast but I don’t know what will you think of me as self centerd or selfish person but I didn’t wanted this I just did’nt wanted to end it like this so I decided to be ruthless in my life and make a ruckless decision in order to protect my dreams from breaking

I just wasn’t ready to give up and choose the same path as everyone else because I live up to quotes such as

I just wasn’t ready to give up and choose the same path as everyone else because I live up to quotes such as

• “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real obligation”

― Paulo Coelho

• “If you can visualize it if you can dream it, there’s some way to do it.”

— Walt Disney

• “The tallest Oak in the forest was once just a little nut that held its ground”

And last but not the least

• “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

So I just was not ready to give up so I decided to take a break from my studies

from academic education but not from knowledge and decided to find me a job I had an ambition that by the end of the month of august I will get myself a job but It was a very thorny and delicate task so by the end of August I end up getting myself depression anxiety instead of a job because it was chaotic outside as well as inside my head because I had no idea where to start since I had no skills and idea what I had capabilities for or interest in that I can learn and the biggest problem of these all was I me and myself which I can’t handle and control I can’t do anything that I DON’T LIKE! And this is problem no psychological logic and meditation have been able to change or solve this problem of mine. so I WAS A LOST LITTLE LAMB INSTEAD OF A LAMB ON BREAK. But then in the month of Sep, I spent the first few days under stress but somehow my brain got the idea which I wasn’t actually sure of If I had one nevertheless I decided to find myself a course and learn a skill so I started search though I couldn’t find any as I believe a lot in

“God will make a way where there seems to be No way”

So out of blue, my sister called, and since I am the youngest sibling and on top of that I am an introverted and egocentric one who doesn’t like to ask for help which is more like I am shy I also want to do everything on my own without realizing

“Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.

— MARGARET WHEATLEY”

So I out of know where burst into tears and told my sister I can’t find a way out I want to do something but I can’t I am a “ZERO”

She asked me what I am planning on doing I told her I am looking for a course or something through which I can have a skill or at least something that would give me a get-to-go. And bang she found me one right away and got me into right away I started taking my cleanses and by the ed of october I was a certified Content writer and a graphics designer though I didn’t went along with graphics designing but it still was very informative and so insinc with content writing so I found both fun but I got very serious about blogging because since childhood english and languages have been my thing I am so good with them but deep deep inside I am in love with english and as a child it was a complex but then it turned of more in to fondness and my enthusiasm for people who speak proper english like the actuall native speakers of english language more of writer increased and my devotion towards it increased though I have been working on my english my whole life but now It became my passion to write and improve my vocabulary because English Literartuer and literature itself is my “SPARK” its my thing so I started writing though it was very easy for me to write emotions ans write scenarios since I have been journaling more of secret diary writing since I was seven. So now I started working on my typing speed and my English vocabulary and reading 10 to 15 blogs a day and reading books more regularly since I have been reading books related to humor before on and off to become a bit humorous since I have an extremely serious personality which I personally like but people can’t handle and I would have gone with it but people won’t go with it which is a thing I can’t go with. But along with all those since I was still not clear about what I wanna do so I was also giving a bit of my time to designing as well but it was not my piece of cake so I made my Upwork account and linked in and freelancer and my brother my beloved elder brother though he is quite of a stone-hearted person somewhere he is a softie as well. So he observed I was very serious about all this thing work getting a job since I was caught in a scam kind of job freelancer since I did not know much about it but he wanted me to get through it on my own since he knows that I have never been through any kind of problems or situations and hardships though I might not have lived a princess kind of life I still wasn’t going through any thorns as well. So after realizing he found me a job and got me an interview and I passed the interview it was a calling and data entry kind of job but what got me in my English my accent my confidence in proving to my brother that I am worthy of opportunities beside I need this job. So after 3 and a half months of hardships, I got a job finally a consistent and safe job secured and now I am working my head is still not clear and I am not going to get into college this semester since I am planning and still not exactly sure about my major but one thing is for sure all my effort kind of paid of those 3 and half months of sleepless night and headaches and two 2 months worth painkiller and a year worth headache and the feeling of the day like a week and a week like a year and these constant feeling I am doing nothing, nothing is working, what am I doing with my life, and some times in loneliness getting scared that what if I have made a wrong decision and those silent cries and nights filled with prayer and days with effort and then feeling like I have done nothing at the end of the day made me realize that

• I am my only asset. I need to polish myself, learn about myself, and improve myself, for “MYSELF”.
• You can not do anything alone. you should ask for help when it is necessary because

“Success in any field, but especially in business is about working with people, not against them.”

― Keith Ferrazzi

• You should cognize that

Good timber does not grow with ease,

The stronger wind, the stronger trees,

The further sky, the greater length,

The more the storm, the more the strength.

― Douglas Malloch

• And that be ruthless at times and sometimes make reckless decisions and become strong-headed and don’t ever look back.
• just jump in and give it a shot life is short and it’s just once in a time opportunity so live the best way you can

The man who never had to toil

To gain and farm his patch of soil,

Who never had to win his share

Of sun and sky and light and air,

Never became a manly man

But lived and died as he began.

― Douglas Malloch

but it’s impressive that as long as you are on the right path good for you and the people around you God will definitely help you. So don’t live and die as a scrubby thing no matter what you are who you are man woman transgender whatever just go for it.

• In the end, what decisions I made are like

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

And I don’t regret any of them they were fun and different though there were horrible horrible experiences in between my favorite dramas are comedy, thriller, adventurous and who won’t love a bit of romance in it which I am waiting for.

So be Reckless Be a 19s person while living in gen z and if you turned into one I hope I find you.